My weight today is 81.2 pounds. It dropped last week, but I guess I picked it up again. It’s now pretty obvious that I’m stuck at around 80 lbs. Pessimism is creeping around the corner. I have to keep it at bay. I have to replace the frustration with creativity. New ideas. New ways to attack.

I am still trying to achieve at least 1700 calories per day. Trying, but not achieving. It feels like there is a very clear limit to the amount of food I can take in, and it’s below average for sure.

Whenever I go for the goal of 1700, I usually can do it. I eat small meals and snacks. The problem is that as the day progresses, my stomach gets full, then nauseous, distended, and hours later I eventually vomit. The nausea, as I’ve said previously, is controlled at least, by medication. But unfortunately, no herbal supplement can do anything to actually move my guts any faster. So far, each time I’ve made the 1700 calorie goal, it has ended in a late night barf fest.

To be comfortable, without the bloated, puking affer effect, I need to eat less. Less volume. But I need more calories. I have an idea.

Right now, I’m still waiting for the next batch of Benecalorie (high cal formula) to arrive. I ordered two cases this time. I plan to drink the same shake daily, with one difference: I’ll add an extra formula packet. One shake would then give me 1010 calories (instead of 680, currently). No extra volume (okay, technically 1.5 ounces more volume, but come on).

I’m thinking maybe that will give me the push I need to start an actual weight gain trend.

That damned delivery truck needs to hurry up!