Thursday, June 24, 2010:

Woke up. Back hurting and no comfortable way to recline (thanks, kyphosis! Woohoo!). Stomach nauseous (shocker). Run down. I imagine the day ahead: more cute and fun rides, more smiles on the kids faces…  More back pain. More difficulty in medicating. The inability to order normal, hot food and not save leftovers (and hence more loss of calories). Then there’s the fact that sometimes they don’t even let you bring drinks into attractions.

With all that swirling in my head, the question forms: Do I sacrifice my pain and eating issues to be with family, or do I limit the rough condition I’m in and try to preserve my body? My choice was to stay in the hotel. This is also the last day we’ll be here. We leave tomorrow morning.

I am not happy.

Not. Happy.

Mad? Yep. Sad? Oh yeah. Longing? More than ever.

I feel my body aging too quickly. I can’t imagine getting to be an old man. If any more body systems start giving me trouble…. geez, I don’t know.

Oh, to feel young, To be free.

Thus far, this trip has been a rude awakening.

I’m not the Chris I used to be.

Positive ending thoughts: Not today… not now. Consider it positive enough that this post hasn’t been an entire page of “fuck”s since that’s how I feel right now.